


Enjoying Life Together

by bjfic_archivist



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Canon, Sequel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-07-19
Updated: 2005-08-12
Packaged: 2018-12-27 00:59:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 14,326
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12070506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bjfic_archivist/pseuds/bjfic_archivist
Summary: This series follows Brian and Justin after they reunite following the Ethan problem.  It is loosely a sequel to Getting It Right.





	1. Chapter 1 - Breakfast with the Gang

**Author's Note:**

> Note from IrishCaelan, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Brian_Justin_Fanfiction_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in September 2017. I posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/bjfic/profile).

It had been two weeks since the picnic at Brian’s which brought Brian and Justin together again. They were still maintaining their separate apartments so that Brian could have the freedom he no longer wanted and so that they could make sure they “did it right’ this time. Nevertheless, they had spent every night together since the picnic, at one place or another. They had eaten breakfast and dinner together every day, and most lunches too, making up for lost time. This particular morning, Justin and Brian were scheduled to have breakfast at the diner with the guys. They were a little late, taking care of some last minute business. Mike and Ben, Emmett, and Ted were already there and the gang indulged in some ribald speculation, but Brian and Justin came in just a few minutes after the scheduled time.

 

“Here come the love birds now,” Michael announced. “Love birds, hah,” Ted cracked, “More like Siamese twins.” They snickered as Brian and Justin sat down in the booth. “And where do you think we’re joined?” Brian countered, “Siamese twins have to be physically joined somewhere.” The crowd roared. “Don’t go there,” Emmett called to Ted. “Don’t worry,” Ted answered, “I wouldn’t touch that one with a ten-inch pole.” “And just where would you find a ten-inch pole?” Brian joined in the hilarity.

 

The other guys had already ordered so Debbie came up and asked Brian and Justin, “The usual?” “Yeah,” they answered in unison. Debbie wrote on her order pad and recited aloud at the same time: “Runny soft boiled eggs, bacon, hash browns, white toast slathered in butter, and tea for Sunshine; and eggs scrambled hard, ham, no potatoes, dry rye toast, and black coffee for Brian.” “Geez,” she went on, “Don’t you two agree on anything?” Again they answered simultaneously. Brian said “Yeah we do,” and Justin said “Au contraire.” Debbie laughed. “You guys don’t even speak the same fuckin’ language,” she remarked as she hurried the orders to the kitchen.

 

Like the rest of the extended “family,” Debbie was surprised at the reconciliation, but she was happy about it. She was especially pleased that Sunshine insisted she be the first to know, and they had come together to the diner the morning after the picnic to tell her. She was a second mother really to both of them. She had fallen in love with Sunshine, just after she had met him, when he appeared one night on her doorstep, scared to death and looking for Brian. She had been a very important part of his life since then and had been a great help to him and his mother time and again. Brian she had known for fifteen years or so since he and Michael got to be such great friends at school. She had disapproved of Brian’s life style and they had had several run-ins through the years. She had just about given up on him when Sunshine came into his life. She had always loved Brian but now she was finally able to like him too. She hoped desperately that the relationship would work out. Once she had worried about the age difference but that didn’t seem so important to her now. She thought they had a good chance but she had been disappointed before. Deep thinking took a toll on Debbie and she didn’t notice right away when the orders were ready.

 

Justin finished his breakfast in the usual five minutes and rushed away to class. Brian left shortly after. Ted observed: “It seems like Brian isn’t interested in being anywhere that Justin isn’t. I would never have believed it, not in a million years.” “They are really in love with each other, and when they’re not together, each of them feels absolutely alone.” Emmett replied. “I know that feeling, but I don’t go around like I’m in a daze all the time,” Michael remarked, smiling at Ben. “Some people think you do,” Ted laughed, “But love never gets the blame.”

 

“It’s just that we’re veterans now. It will get easier for them in time,” Ben said. “If it lasts,” Ted warned, “That’s still Brian we’re talking about.” “But it’s a newer, gentler Brian,” Emmett added, “He still makes his nasty remarks now and then, but it’s obvious that he doesn’t mean them. I hope this lasts but it is hard to believe Brian could change so much so quickly.” “I don’t know,” Ben said, “Most of us are looking for love, for some kind of relationship. Some of us find it, and some of us don’t.” He smiled at Mikey who smiled back. “Even if we don’t find it,” Ben continued, “We know what we’re looking for and we keep on looking. Sometimes there are detours on the way but we keep on looking. Brian was only different in that he didn’t know what he was looking for. From what I hear of his growing up, he didn’t get much affection at home. He made the mistake of thinking that sex was love so he compensated with sex until eventually he thought it was sex he was looking for. Then that crazy kid came on the scene, and Brian wasn’t ready for him. Brian fell in love before he knew that was what he wanted, or maybe even before he knew there was such a thing. I think he still doesn’t understand what is going on with him any more than we do, but he knows he’s happy now and he knows he wasn’t before. Justin was kind of the opposite of Brian. Justin thought love was sex, so he thought he was in love before he really was, but it looks like the real thing to me now. I don’t know if the Brian-Justin business will last but I think the change in Brian will, unless they have a particularly bitter break-up.”

 

“We all knew how miserable both of them were when they weren’t together. That could have been pretty bitter – what happened at the Rage party - but they weren’t down on each other while they were separated.” Mikey chimed in. “It’s a good sign,” Ben agreed. “Gee, that oriental mysticism really explains everything,” Emmett said with a touch of humor in his voice. “And you never even got to go to Tibet,” Ted added. “Shut up,” Michael warned.

 

“Oriental mysticism,” Melanie chimed in as she and Lindsey walked past the booth. “I thought all you guys talked about was sex.” “Maybe there’s a lot of sex in oriental mysticism,” Lindsey said. “Actually we were talking about Brian and Justin. They were just here for breakfast,” Mike told them, “And we’re trying to figure out what’s going on there.”

“Well you’re not going to get any help from us,” Melanie informed them. “No, we were surprised that they got back together, not because we didn’t think they loved each other, but because they are both so stubborn. They were both so determined to suffer because each one thought he was at fault and that the other would never forgive him,” Lindsey added, “Did we tell you how we found out they were back together? It was kind of funny. They deliberately came to see Gus separately about ten minutes apart. They acted uncomfortable together and we were certainly uncomfortable for them and for us, too. They asked for coffee and we left the room together and when we came back, there they were all lovey-dovey. Then they told us they had solved their differences the night before.”

 

“I told them I knew something was going on,” Melanie laughed, “Because Brian had acted like a real human being for twenty consecutive minutes. And Brian didn’t come back with some nasty remark. He just smiled. Then I really knew that something was going on. The brat has tamed the bastard.” “Will it last though?” Emmett wondered. Melanie responded; “You remember way back when they first got together and we had the pool on how long they’d last? I said about three hours. Well I’m going for the long term now, and you know I’ve never been a big fan of Brian’s. This looks like the real thing to me.” “I hope so,” Michael said, “But we’ll just have to wait and hope, and we’ll see.” They were all hoping.  



	2. Chapter 2 - First Anniversary

Justin was getting dressed. Brian had ordered him to get dressed up because they were going out to dinner. He hadn’t said more but in the several deliriously happy weeks since their reconciliation, Justin was happy to oblige Brian when he wanted something, just as Brian seemed eager to satisfy Justin. Justin had decided to wear the clothes he had worn on his birthday to go to Ethan’s concert. Brian called that outfit his “second best birthday suit.” The tie Justin liked to wear with that ensemble was kind of stiff. Justin could have easily tied it for himself but he always called on Brian to tie it for him. It presented another opportunity to have Brian’s arms around his neck. Brian knew very well that Justin could tie the tie himself but was glad to help because it gave him another chance to get his arms around Justin.

 

“Where are we going?” Justin asked. “Gino’s,” Brian replied. Gino’s was a small Italian restaurant atop Mt. Washington. Pittsburgh is one of the few cities in the world to have a mountain just across the river from its downtown area. Mt. Washington provides splendid views of the city, and a series of restaurants is perched at the top taking advantage of the view. Gino’s was neither the largest nor the most prestigious of the restaurants but Gino was a friend of Brian’s, and had agreed to certain arrangements that Brian had requested. “Why are we going?” Justin asked. “To eat,” Brian responded. Justin figured he might as well just wait to see what was going on.

 

The setting sun sent golden streaks along all of the three rivers as Brian and Justin sat down at a window table overlooking all that the city had to offer. Justin ordered spaghetti, which was his favorite, and Brian ordered something fancy sounding. Justin did not know what it was even after he saw it. They occupied themselves with small talk. It was “all you can eat spaghetti” night at Gino’s and Justin was finishing his second plate when Brian said, “You’re going to get fat, and you’re going to be banned from here on ‘all you can eat’ night if you don’t soon quit.” “I won’t gain an ounce,” Justin bragged. “You can check me out later to see if any fat has been added.” Brian grinned. “I’ll know,” he said. “I know you’ll know,” Justin responded. They were both very happy young men.

 

“Mr. Justin Taylor,” a voice spoke up from the doorway to the dining room. It was an old guy carrying flowers. Justin was pointed out by one of the waiters and the delivery man brought the flowers over to Justin. They were magnificent red roses. “What is this, Brian?” Justin demanded. “What’s going on?” Brian looked Justin in the eye, replying, “These must be the flowers I sent you on your birthday. They finally caught up with you.” “They look pretty fresh to me,” Justin remarked. “Well I think maybe you were a bit disappointed on your birthday and I’m trying to make up for it,” Brian said, “And today is our anniversary. It’s been one month today since we got back together, and it has been a great month.” “I thought you only celebrated achievement, Mr. Kinney,” Justin wondered, and Brian broke out into a wide smile. “You’ve gone a whole month without creating a scene, Mr. Taylor, and that has to be an achievement.” Justin was smiling as broadly as Brian when he said, “Oh, I think I, or would it be we, have created quite a few scenes this month, only nobody saw them.” “You could be right,” Brian admitted.

 

But it wasn’t over yet. It was Brian’s turn to be nervous. The part he had been practicing was just ahead and he didn’t want to screw it up. Justin’s head was already spinning, and his eyes were locked on Brian’s. It couldn’t get better. It just couldn’t. Then Brian leaned over toward Justin and slowly spoke the magic words. “I love you, Justin,” he said, and he kissed him.

 

It was a good thing Justin was between plates of spaghetti or he would have surely choked. He sat quite still for a few moments. Brian had wondered how he would react and what he would say. Nevertheless he was surprised when Justin finally said, “Say it again.” Brian faked a pout and replied,” It took me two years to say it once and you want me to say it again. Believe me the first time. I promise I’ll let you know if I change my mind.” “I think I’m going to explode,” Justin whimpered. In a monument to bad timing, his third bowl of spaghetti was served just at that moment. “From food, little Justin,” Brian grinned, “not love.” “You’ll see”, Justin insisted, “You promised to check later to see if I had gained any fat, didn’t you?” “I’m looking forward to it,” Brian leered.

 

Brian passed on dessert but Justin ordered the pecan ball with hot fudge sauce. They had been silent for a while when Justin finally broke the silence: “Brian, this is the best..” but Brian didn’t let him finish. “Not another best night of your life,” Brian broke in, “They seem to be coming along pretty often.” “They are,” Justin answered, “and all because of you. I was just thinking that this is the very best night of my life but I was afraid to say it because you would make fun of me. So I’m glad you brought it up. I was going to say that this was the best pecan ball I’ve had in a long time.” They both laughed. It was a great night for them both.

 

After the meal, Justin and Brian came out onto Grandview Avenue, which snaked along the top of the mount with little viewing platforms jutting out and affording spectacular views of the city. People walked up and down Grandview Avenue all day and all night to enjoy the view. Justin said to Brian, “I wish this night could go on forever. I’ve never been so happy.” “It will have to end, Sunshine,” Brian responded, “but not yet. We’ll walk up and down a couple of times and maybe you’ll walk off some of that spaghetti.” He took Justin’s hand into his and Justin thought he would like to walk to London, just like that.

 

After a couple of passes up and down Grandview, they came upon an unoccupied outlook. They went out onto it and sat down on the bench there. Justin snuggled up to Brian and put his head on Brian’s shoulder. They just sat there for a while before Brian reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out an envelope. He handed it to Justin and told him, “This is for you. One more birthday-anniversary gift to the greatest kid in the world.” Justin was thrilled. This whole evening was getting to be too much for him. “Can you read in this light?” Brian asked. “I’m still young; Of course I can read in this light,” Justin gurgled. He opened the envelope and pulled out a paper. It was a gift certificate “Oh, Brian,” he cried and there was no way for him to hold back the tears that streamed down his cheeks. “It’s a gift certificate for a week of snow-boarding in Vermont, good for any available week next season.” He stopped reading and started kissing Brian ferociously. Brian pulled back a bit and ordered: “Read it all.” Justin reluctantly stopped what he was doing and turned back to the paper. The look on his face changed from ecstatic to puzzled to dismayed. He looked at Brian and gasped, “This certificate is for one person, single occupancy.” Brian’s face lit up and Justin suddenly knew that everything was okay. “Yeah, that’s what it says. In case you liked going up there by yourself. However, I bought myself one just like that. And if we can get our schedules worked out, we could go up together. I could get a 20% discount for double occupancy. A penny saved is a penny earned.”

 

Justin couldn’t speak but he crawled up onto Brian, partly sitting on his lap and partly circling him like a boa constrictor. Brian was as happy as Justin was. They stayed wrapped up like that for a good while before Justin’s eyes closed and his breathing got heavy. Brian remembered another time when Justin went to sleep on him and he smiled at the memory. He had not smiled when it happened. Brian did not want the evening to end either so he sat there thinking how lucky he was. He looked out over the beauty of the city, and then down on the beauty of his Justin, who, for Brian, was the most wonderful thing in that city. He spoke softly into Justin’s ear, “I love you, little Justin. This is the best night of my life.”

 

Brian did not see the smile that erupted on Justin’s face. Justin was not asleep. “Thanks for sharing that, Brian,” he whispered back.


	3. Chapter 3 - Accomodations

Justin and Brian were standing next to each other in front of the large mirror in Brian’s bathroom. Brian was shaving and Justin was adjusting his hair – operations that consumed approximately the same amount of time. They had just finished their communal shower, which Justin often mentioned “saved water.” An efficiency expert could have told them that two 8-10 minute individual showers would not use as much water as the 45 minutes it took them to accomplish the task together, but they hadn’t asked an efficiency expert. They were very pleased with their conservation effort as it stood.

 

They had spent the night at Brian’s. Justin still had his own apartment but that would only be until the end of the month. Even Jennifer had wondered why they needed separate places when they didn’t seem to be separate people. Ted had called them “Siamese twins” and they were willing to admit they wanted to be together all the time.

 

But Brian didn’t seem to be particularly pleased that morning when he glared at Justin. “You’re what?” he complained. Justin responded in the tone of voice he used when he wanted to sound reasonable: “Brian, you know I have to go to New York. Four of my works are going to be displayed in the student art show at NYU. The school insists that I go, and it will give me a chance to meet young artists from other schools. I could learn a lot there. I will only be gone three nights and it’s important. We are not always going to be able to be together every minute for the next fifty years so we may as well get used to it.”

 

“That is not the issue,” Brian replied. “OK,” Justin allowed, “but why shouldn’t I stay with Ethan while I’m there. His place is walking distance from NYU and it will be nicer than the dorm.” “Nicer for whom?” Brian asked. “Oh, Brian, don’t get jealous. Ethan is no competition for you,” Justin insisted. “Of course he isn’t,” Brian remarked with a little sarcasm, “He isn’t in advertising and I don’t play the fiddle.” Justin ignored that response: “You know that there isn’t anything between Ethan and me – never was. You know we’re keeping in touch by e-mail and we are friends and we want to keep being friends. He’s even developing a relationship with some guy named Tom. Tom plays the piano. Ethan thinks that it may go somewhere soon.” Justin should have stopped there but he was Justin and he was 19, so he continued, “Of course, Tom didn’t come into the picture until after I told Ethan that it was ‘Brian and Justin forever’ here.” Brian smiled at that and taunted back: “What makes you think I’ll want you forever?” Justin smiled too. “I’ll see to that,” he said.

 

The discussion was continued over breakfast in the loft. Justin said, “It might be good for us to be separated for three days. It’ll keep us from getting stale. We’ll be that much better when I get back. I’ll be very busy up there but I’ll think of you a lot. If I have any spare time, I want to hear Ethan perform and I’ll get to meet Tom. You have nothing to worry about.”

 

“You’re right, of course” Brian answered, “ And I can get some work done on my new contracts and spend some time with the guys. I might even spend a couple of the nights at Babylon. I’ll think of you a lot while you’re gone though. I’ll be OK; don’t worry about me.” “Babylon?” Justin repeated. “Sure,” Brian said, “I don’t get to Babylon as much as I’d like because you seem to have lost interest in it. But I’ll enjoy seeing the gang there. It’ll be fun. You know I was never much for staying at home alone. I don’t want you to worry about me being lonely.” “That’s not what I’m likely to worry about.” Justin responded. “Well, I won’t be spending three nights with an old boyfriend, will I?” Brian countered. That ended the breakfast discussion. Neither Brian nor Justin seemed to be too upset about the upcoming separation. Either they trusted each other or each of them had something up his sleeve. They did trust each other but each of them had held something back so far.

 

They were scheduled to have dinner at Melanie and Lindsey’s that evening and then spend the night at Justin’s. They came separately and spent a good part of their visit playing with Gus. Lindsey was very impressed that Justin had been chosen to exhibit. He was the first student from the Pittsburgh Institute ever to have been so honored. She was also very impressed that two of the works to be shown were from Justin’s dark period after the bashing when he could only draw with the aid of a computer, while the other two were from the recent period when he had his arm mobility back. The whole thing was a bigger deal than Brian had figured. Brian was reminded of the rough time that this kid had gone through, what a tough kid he was under that vulnerable outer shell, and what a terrific talent he must be. Brian was very proud of Justin. Justin was thinking that, without Brian’s encouragement and help, he would have given up his art entirely, and that he really had Brian to thank for his success thus far as well as any future success he might have.

 

As they were leaving, Lindsey called Brian aside. She had known Brian and loved Brian for most of their lives. She was so pleased that Brian had been able finally to find happiness in his life because of Justin. Still there were times when she would have liked to give him one swift kick. She whispered to Brian: “How could you not go with him for this showing? It’s a great honor for him. You should be smart enough to know he’d want to share it with you.” “I’m smart enough,” Brian responded, “Not to need advice from you.” Lindsey thought he needed one of those kicks right there. Lindsey was wrong.

 

When they got to Justin’s apartment, they both sat down in Justin’s recliner. It was a large recliner; they were thin people; and they had no objection to being crowded together. If there were any problems between them about the NY trip, it was not noticeable. Brian held on to Justin, and Justin snuggled up to Brian like the love birds or Siamese twins or whatever they were. It had been an interesting day but things weren’t yet settled.

 

Justin gave up first. He put on his pleading face, kissed Brian, and begged, “Come with me to New York, Brian. I don’t want to be without you for three days. I don’t even know if I could last the three days without you. I know I’ll be busy a lot of the time. I won’t be able to be with you even most of the time but I really want to have you near me. Couldn’t you please come? You could stay at Ethan’s too, or we could get a hotel or sleep in a tent or in the subway station or wherever. Please.” “What makes you think I could stay at Ethan’s?” Brian asked, ”I don’t know that Ethan cares very much for me.” Justin looked pained: “Don’t be mad at me, Brian, I love you, but I asked Ethan day before yesterday if you could stay there too if I could get you to come and he was thrilled. He said he would be glad to get to know you better. He knows how happy we are and he is glad for us. You’ll like him, Brian, and he’ll like you. Please come and don’t be mad at me because I did all this behind your back. I know that was wrong. Why do I always do dumb things?”

 

Brian looked at Justin and said, “The only mistake you made was not asking me to go with you right at the beginning. Didn’t you think I might just want to be part of this?” “I didn’t want to bother you with my little stuff, Brian, this is no big deal,” Justin answered. “Is it important to you?” Brian asked. “Well yes, but…” Justin stammered. “Then it’s important to me,” Brian said, gently.

 

Then, looking sterner, Brian went on: “You are a twat, little Justin, a major twat. Did you think for a moment that I was not coming to New York for your first big break? Did you really think I was going to leave you out of my sight for three whole days – and nights? I cleared my schedule the day you told me about it. Then I waited for you to ask me. If you did, I was going with you. If you didn’t, I was just going to turn up and surprise you. But I was going, never any doubt of that. I even have my place to stay lined up.” It seemed that the happier Justin got the more he cried. “I am a twat,” he whined, “I don’t know how you put up with me. And sneaky too. Can I stay in New York with you? I don’t want to stay with Ethan if I can stay with you. Please.”

 

“Justin,” Brian responded, “You may be a major twat but you are a minor sneak. Yes, you can stay with me. In fact, you’ll just about have to stay with me because I’m staying at Ethan’s.” “At Ethan’s,” Justin gasped, “But I …” Brian pulled Justin onto his lap.

 

“You wanna hear a story, little guy,” he started, “Well there was once this very talented artist named Justin who was having an exhibit in New York … And when Justin’s friend Ethan heard that Justin was coming to New York, he e-mailed Brian and asked him to come up and stay with him too. He congratulated Brian for making Justin so happy and said he wanted to get to know them as a couple. Ethan sounded like a great guy so Brian and Ethan cooked up this scheme. Maybe it was a little mean but … “

 

Justin flashed his sunshine smile and kissed Brian. “You big rat,” he whispered in Brian’s ear. “A little mouse should never mess with a big rat,” Brian replied.


	4. Chapter 4 - The Labor Day Surprise

They said it was a Labor Day picnic. Mel and Linz were having everybody over to their place on the holiday. Brian didn’t think the occasion was the holiday at all though that suited their purpose. Gus had begun to call both of them “Mama” but he had not said “Dada” despite all the urging Brian could summon up. “I’m not going,” he told Justin, “My kid has two mothers but no father.” “You are too going. He’s your kid whether he knows it or not. Maybe he’ll say ‘Dada’ while we’re there, “ Justin replied emphatically, “But I’m going with or without you and I don’t intend to explain why my boyfriend, and that’s you by the way, found something better to do. So you’re going, and that’s that.”

Brian stood there for a minute showing that odd smile that so frequently occupied his face these days and finally said, “Well I’m not getting dressed up.” “We can argue about that later,” Justin smiled as he threw his arms around Brian’s neck and kissed him, “I love it when we argue and then make up.” “You’re crazy,” Brian stated as he put his arms around Justin, and pulled him close, and kissed him back. “Like a fox,” thought Justin, but he rightly felt that enough had been said.

 

Labor Day dawned beautiful and clear over Pittsburgh and Brian presented himself to Justin wearing a garish combination of red, white and blue. “I’m ready to go.” He announced to Justin. “Like that,” Justin replied, stifling a smile. “Either I wear this or I’m wearing nothing at all.” Brian insisted. “Suit yourself – or unsuit yourself,” Justin chuckled, “Either way you’re sure to be noticed.” Another point for Justin. When they set out for the picnic, Brian had dressed in more restrained garb. Justin could not have been happier. Brian was almost as happy. If Gus would just say “Dada,” Brian could give Justin a run for his money in the happiness department.

 

They got there just at the appointed time. That was another compromise between Brian, who was always early if he chose to show up at all, and Justin, who considered all times to be approximations. Debbie and Vic had come over early to help the girls with their preparation, and Gus was seated in a high-chair dressed very much like what Brian had been wearing earlier. “See,” Brian said, elbowing Justin, “The uniform of the day.” “He’s 2: You’re 29,” Justin replied. “31,” Brian admitted, “Don’t try to drag me down to your age level. I’m too mature for that.’ They both laughed.

 

Debbie and Vic came over to greet them as the first arrivals. They were very pleased that the Brian-Justin pairing was going so well. They had gone through a lot with those two and their ups and downs. “Glad you’re here,” Deb welcomed them, “We need the folding chairs set up and you can do that.” “I’m too old to do that kind of work,” Brian retorted, “But I’m sure Master Justin would be glad to do that little job.” “Indeed, I would,” Justin said with a mock bow and headed in the direction of the still folded chairs. “Things going well?” Debbie asked Brian. “Thanks, Deb,” Brian answered. “What for?” she asked. “You know,” He answered. And she did.

 

The whole gang was at the picnic as well as some other friends of Mel and Lindsey’s, most of whom Brian and Justin also knew at least by sight. Mel and Lindsey took turns carrying Gus around to all the attendees, and Gus acted like “Mama” was the only sound he could make. Ted came up to Brian and asked him if Gus also said “Dada,” and Brian assured him that he did, but only at the appropriate time. At just about that time, Emmett came running up, holding Gus. “I’m sure he said ‘Emmett’,” he declared. “Say ‘Dada,’ Gus,” Emmett went on, but it seemed that Gus had nothing to say. Brian took Gus from Emmett and held him; he loved Gus more than he had ever expected to. He had even warned Lindsey, before Gus was born, not to expect him to make any contribution, except financial, to the upbringing of their child. But Brian had changed his mind about a lot of things. He had met Justin on the very night of Gus’ birth, and these two new additions to his life had made some big changes in his outlook. “Say “Dada,” he said to Gus and then whispered in Gus’ ear, “You little traitor.”

 

“Dada,” said Gus in a loud clear voice for all to hear. Justin was one of those who heard and he came bouncing over. “He said it; He said it; See, I told you he’d say it;” Justin whooped. “Must have been the appropriate time,” Ted remarked. In the old days, Ted would never have gotten away with that comment but these were new days. Brian proudly carried his son around to the assemblage, and Gus suitably said “Dada” whenever necessary. It was like his tongue was loosed though because before long, he also said “Emm” and “Deb” and “Mike.”

 

Brian was still holding Gus off to the side of the crowd when Justin came up. “He hasn’t said ‘Justin,’ yet, so let me have him,” Justin asked, and Brian handed Gus over. “Say ‘Uncle Justin,’” Brian commanded, but Gus said nothing. So Brian tried again: “Say ‘Uncle Justin,’ Gus,” but Gus seemed to be as stubborn as his father. Finally Justin said to Brian, “’Uncle Justin’ is too hard for him. See, he even looks mixed up. Say ‘Justin,’ Gus.” Gus seemed to get the message and he spoke. He said: “Dada.”

 

Justin wished a hole in the ground would swallow him up. “Not ‘Dada,’ Gus, say ‘Justin,’” But Gus stood his ground. “Dada,” he repeated. Justin was afraid to look up. Brian was standing right there, and for the first time since he had met Brian, Justin wished he were not standing next to him. He didn’t look up. He couldn’t look up. What a disappointment for Brian. Justin couldn’t run. He couldn’t stand there looking down at the ground forever. “I’m sorry, Brian,” he said, almost in tears. Brian reached his hand under Justin’s chin and raised his head. Justin saw that Brian was smiling. “You have nothing to be sorry for.” Brian consoled Justin, “My son loves you and so does his father.”

 

Justin had had his share of ups and downs, but things seemed to get more and more intense. It was a lot for a 19 year old to fathom. “But…” was all he could get out. Brian didn’t interrupt him, but when it was obvious that Justin couldn’t say any more, Brian instructed him, “Give my son to one of his mothers, and then come over and sit on the grass with me. I have to talk to you.” Justin wasn’t sure what that meant but he did as he was told and met Brian on the grass as directed.

 

“I’m sorry, Brian, he’s your son,” Justin tried to start the discussion. “How about letting me talk this time,” Brian said and Justin was pleased to do just that. “Lindsey has often said that Melanie is as much Gus’ mother as she is, because if it were not for Melanie, she would not have had a child at all. And I think that’s true. Lindsey is Gus’ biological mother, but I’ll bet she doesn’t love him any more than Melanie. I’ve never been a big Melanie fan, and that is probably more my fault than hers, but I do not doubt that she would do anything for Gus, just like a parent should. So Gus has two mothers. I was Gus’ biological father before I met you but I had no real commitment to him at all. My personal experience with fathers was that any kid would be way better off without one. I would have been without mine, and Mikey had no father at all, which was better than what I had. The first fatherly feelings I ever had were not about Gus; they were about you. You needed protection and I wanted to protect you but I couldn’t let you know back then. Your father was shitty to you about your being gay and he threw you out of the house and all that, and you still told me you were glad you had a father and could never feel about your father the way I felt about mine.”

 

Justin made a sound as if to say something. “Please don’t interrupt your father figure when he’s speaking,” Brian stopped him. “Gus would have had a father if it hadn’t been for you but he would never have had a ‘daddy.’ His father didn’t know how to be a daddy. He learned that from you and only from you. So you have been for me what Melanie has been for Lindsey. You love Gus as much as I do, I’m sure of that, so why shouldn’t a kid who has two mommies have two daddies?” “But what about Lindsey and Melanie?” Justin asked. “They might like you better than they like me,” Brian responded. “If you feel more comfortable with ‘Uncle Justin’ later, that will be OK too, but let Gus think he has two daddies for now. I think he’s a lucky kid to get you, ” Brian finished up.

 

“Just like I was a lucky kid to get you, but can I ask a question?” Justin said. “And what would that question be?” Brian responded. Justin asked, “Are all your feelings for me fatherly?” Brian grinned, “Hardly any of them since you got to be such a pain.” “That’s good,” Justin replied, “When can we talk about those other, non-fatherly feelings?” Justin asked. “Later,” Brian said. “Later,” Justin purred.


	5. Chapter 5 - The Big Issue

Brian and Justin lay all wrapped up in each other ready to go to sleep. It was just about the happiest time of day for them. There were no distractions and they seemed alone in the world – alone in the world with nobody else but each other. It was a true time of contentment – most nights.

 

This particular night Justin squeezed himself up against Brian and said “Brian?” Now when Justin said “Brian” with a question mark after it, Brian well knew he wanted something. When he waited for this particularly mellow time of day to ask, Brian also knew, he wanted something he thought Brian might object to. But Brian was in a particularly mellow mood.

 

“OK,” Brian responded. “OK what?” Justin wondered, somewhat taken back by the reply. “OK, you can have whatever it is you want, or you can do whatever it is you want to do, provided it’s not dangerous like bungee jumping. I’m willing to put up with you but I’m not willing to take a chance on losing you,” Brian said.

 

Justin squeezed up tighter and planted a kiss on Brian’s shoulder. “You are such a great guy. Anyone would be a fool not to be in love with you,” Justin kind of whimpered.

 

“Unfortunately, sometimes fools fall in love with me too, and worse yet, sometimes I fall in love with them,” Brian answered, figuring if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em.

 

“Well let me tell you what it is.” Justin went on. “Not if I don’t need to know before morning. What I don’t need is any of your crazy ideas to keep me awake all night,” Brian said. “I could tell you all about it in the morning,” Justin agreed, “And I’ll sleep well knowing that it’s OK with you.” Brian smiled pulling Justin even closer. It might not be really OK with him but if Justin wanted whatever it was he wanted, Brian wanted him to have it. Brian was in love but still sane enough to wonder about his judgment. “That kid gets away with murder,” he thought to himself, “But that’s the way I want it.” He kissed Justin on top of the head, and they both slept well.

 

Brian woke up the next morning to the sounds of Justin bustling around the kitchen. They were going to have breakfast “in” apparently and Brian thought he detected the odors of all his favorites. This frightened him just a little. What was the brat up to? What did he want? How much suffering would he have to endure?

 

“Breakfast is ready, sleepyhead,” Justin said as he bounced into the bedroom, “Just the way you like it.” “They always give the condemned man a hearty breakfast,” Brian replied. And it was a good breakfast and Brian did enjoy it. As he finished up he finally said to Justin, “OK, what?” “Brian, you’re such a great guy,” Justin began. “Cut to the chase,” Brian ordered, “You’re going to have to tell me sometime.”

 

Justin inhaled a deep breath and began, “Well, our comic book publishers want Mikey and me to come up with a big triple-sized issue of Rage. We want to do it and we have it all sketched out but we need a lot of room to get it ready. We really have to use the loft. It will only take two or three days. You are so good to let us work here. You are really the greatest.”

 

“And just how long have you known this without telling me?” Brian demanded, “Since you’ve got it all sketched out.” “About two weeks,” Justin responded, limply. “Two weeks,” Brian mused, “And you didn’t tell me. You kept a secret from me.” “We didn’t want to bother you about it if we couldn’t get it together ourselves. You have so many important things on your mind and there was no need to worry you,” Justin responded.

 

Brian stifled a laugh, “My dear Justin, you remind me of Uriah Heep.” “I don’t think I know him,” Justin looked quizzically, “Do I know him? Is he cute? If he’s from Babylon, he must be ugly because I remember the names of all the hot ones.” Brian wanted to smile but he kept it all inside. “Sunshine,” He finally said, “If I didn’t love you as much as I do, I’d kick you out of here on your ass.” “I guess I’m just lucky,” Justin tried to sound flippant, but inside he knew how really lucky he was.

 

They decided to make the final arrangements for the Rage work in the loft, which was to take place sometime the following week, at dinner that evening. They chose an out-of –the-way place so they wouldn’t be disturbed. At six o’clock they met there and the negotiations began. “How about Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday?” Justin asked, “And maybe Thursday if we need it.” Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday, yes, but by Thursday I might be a little peevish and you remember the last time when I got peeved.” “But you apologized and said you were sorry,” Justin reminded him. “I did say I was sorry, and I was, but I did not say I wouldn’t do it again. Of course, I will be very sorry after I do it this time, too,” Brian retorted.

 

“OK,” Justin gave in, “We’ll finish by Wednesday.” “That’s settled then,” Brian agreed, ”But there are a few more things I want,” Brian continued. “This sounds like ‘Rules,’” Justin complained. “I thought we were done with ‘Rules.’” “No more than I thought I was done with Rage,” Brian responded, “I want a clear path on the floor between the door, the kitchen, the bathroom and the bed, and I want that path clear of all the hanging shit you have. I don’t want to break my neck trying to get under that stuff. If you can’t do that, I can stay at the office all night every night until you’re finished. That might be the best thing in any case.”

 

“No, No,” Justin didn’t like that alternative, “You win on that one too. I hope there aren’t any more of these ‘Rules.’” “Just one more,” Brian stated, “And that’s about the use of the bed.” “The bed?” Justin didn’t get it. “What about the bed?” “Well, you and Mikey used the bed to ‘rest’ last time, didn’t you? If you do that again, I want Mikey on your side of the bed.” “I thought we didn’t have sides of the bed. If we do, we certainly don’t stay on our own ‘sides,’” Justin answered. He wasn’t sure if Brian was serious or not and he wanted to take no chances. “That’s us. This is Mikey,” Brian declared, “And if we’re ever all three on the bed together, Mike has to be between us.” Between us,” Justin gasped, “Why between us?” “So that if you make a play for Mikey from your side, I can try from mine,” Brian exulted.

 

“Oh, shut up, Brian. Neither Mikey nor I will use the bed at all. That bed has no meaning for me if you’re not in it.” “That is just the answer I was looking for,” Brian admitted. The table was too wide for them to do what they wanted to do. Justin threw Brian a kiss and Brian caught it, and they enjoyed the rest of their wonderful meal.

 

Nothing more, nothing more about Rage, that is, went on that evening until the hour of contentment was reached. Brian started it this time. Snuggled up to Justin, he asked, “And what is this big three-part Rage story going to be about?” “I’ll tell you if you promise not to laugh,” Justin replied. “It’s better than it sounds.” “OK,” Brian agreed, “Go ahead.” “Well,” Justin began, “In the first part, Rage begins to notice that he’s losing his special powers, and he doesn’t know why. In the second part, he finds out the reason he’s losing his powers is that he is putting on weight. It turns out the more overweight he gets, the less of his powers he keeps. In the last part, he gets back to his proper weight and regains his super powers just in time to save the world from getting blown up.”

 

Brian didn’t laugh. In fact, his face took on a look of panic. “You know,” he cried to Justin, “I didn’t think it was possible but you know. You have to know. How in the Hell? You’re a fucking mind-reader. I can’t even think anything without you knowing.” Justin was frightened. “What do I know? Brian, I don’t know anything. What do you think I know?” “You don’t know; you really don’t know,” Brian said. “Brian, you’re scaring me. Whatever it is, I don’t know, and if you don’t want me to know, I don’t want to know either.”

 

Brian dissolved into laughter. He couldn’t stop laughing, and frightened as he was, Justin started to laugh too. After a while, things calmed down and Brian finally said to Justin: “You weren’t the only one with a secret for two weeks without telling. I had a secret too. I was three pounds overweight a couple of weeks back. I’m only two pounds overweight now but I’m having a hard time getting it off. I didn’t want you to know so I kept it a secret.” “Oh Brian,” Justin held him and consoled him, “You haven’t lost any of your super powers. You are as great as ever and you’ll always be great.” Justin’s problem usually was that he didn’t know when to stop, and thus he continued: “And I will always love you no matter how fat you get.”

 

P.S. Justin survived that night, perhaps a little worse for wear but in one piece. The Rage session in the loft went very well, and Brian lost the weight easily without the tension of keeping the secret from Justin. They were as much in love at the end of all this as they were at the beginning, maybe more.


	6. Chapter 6 - Remote Control

There were a lot of good things about the loft, and Brian and Justin enjoyed living there together, but they would probably have enjoyed living together anywhere. The loft had certain disadvantages though, a specific one being a cause of some strife between them. Because of the open layout, it was only feasible to have one television set, so there were two opinions but only the one large screen, home-theater sound, set was available.

 

Since they were not doing the club scene as much as they used to, and since they liked to be alone together, the question of what to watch on TV came up from time to time, and that was what was happening on this evening.

 

Brian was partial to the old black and white reruns of western series, Gunsmoke being a particular favorite. “Brian,” Justin observed, ”Please don’t take this as a threat, but if I have to watch your imitation of Chester one more time, I just might forget that you have some good points too, and go find someone else to live with.” “My imitation of Chester is one of my good points. If I were an actor, I would make a great Chester,” Brian stated with certainty.

 

A pensive look formed on Brian’s face and he went on thinking out loud, “Y’know, Sunshine, I once thought I might like to try my hand at acting, but then this advertising thing came up.” “You could have been a matinee idol, Brian,” Justin prodded, “A star on the soaps, with thousands of women chasing after you on-screen and off.” “I don’t think I’d want a bunch of sex-starved women chasing after me on-screen or off. It was enough of a pain in the ass to have you chasing me,” Brian said, “But I would be able to get away from them, I’m sure of that.” “I wonder how you can be so certain,” Justin teased, “ When big mean Brian Kinney couldn’t even get away from one little know-nothing Justin Taylor.”

 

“Maybe I could have if I’d wanted to,” Brian retorted, “Maybe I never really wanted to.” That response pleased Justin and he sidled up to Brian. “Whatever,” he said, “As long as you didn’t get away.” “Anyhow,” Brian continued, “I wouldn’t have wanted to be a big soap star. I see myself as the off-Broadway and indy film type.” “That sounds great, Brian,” Justin came back, “If you want to try the acting scene, I’ll try it too. I’m cute. A little off-Broadway and indy film action sounds good to me.” “I don’t think so,” Brian responded, “You’d never make it. Women wouldn’t go for you. You’re too much of a drama queen and sometimes an outright ham.”

 

And that ended the daydreaming. Back to reality. “Now you did mention that I had some other good points. Maybe I could remind you of just what they are.” “Any time,” Justin responded with a grin. Then he said, “OK, I’ll watch Gunsmoke with you all right, but couldn’t you just once be Marshall Dillon?” “I don’t feel like Matt Dillon. I feel like Chester,” Brian insisted. “Well, then we can have a choice of Powerpuff Girls or The Three Stooges at eight,” Justin went on. Brian smiled as he answered, “Yeah, well if you put either of those on, I’m going to bed.” “Shit,” Justin responded, “You would do anything to keep me from watching what I want on the damn TV, wouldn’t you?” “I’m not keeping you from watching whatever you want,” Brian smirked, “I’m just going to bed.” “Yes you are, and you know it,” Justin complained in a tone of voice that didn’t much seem like a complaint.

 

Justin had the TV section of the Post-Gazette in front of him and spied something that caught his attention. “Brian, here’s something on Showtime at 10:00 that maybe we ought to watch. They’re doing reruns of Queer as Folk, which is about gay people right here in Pittsburgh. I was surfing the internet the other day and I came across this message board where a whole lot of crazy people were arguing about the program as if the characters were real.” “There are a lot of crazy people on the internet, kiddo. Most of them wouldn’t know real life if they fell over it.” Brian allowed, “ And just what do you think we can learn about gay life in Pittsburgh from some TV program?” “Well, Emmett watches it I think, and he once told me the leading actors are real hot stuff,” Justin declared defensively. “OK, you win,” Brian appeared to give in, “We’ll watch. Maybe I’ll see somebody cuter than you.”

 

Justin scowled. “You know I’d do anything for you, Brian,” he responded, “Law and Order is also on at 10:00 and maybe you’d like that better.” “No,” Brian stated, “It will be Queer as Folk. Maybe you’ll learn something about sex.” “I might at that,” Justin laughed, jumping away from Brian’s grasp, “My real life teacher was OK but he was pretty old-fashioned.” Brian caught up with Justin and there might have been a great deal more to describe but the telephone rang just at that moment. Brian answered.

 

It was Lindsey. “Mel and I rented Wizard of Oz to show to Gus and he slept all afternoon. He’s wide awake now. We are going to show it in half an hour. Would you want to pass up Gunsmoke for once and come over and watch it with us?” Linz asked Brian, “It will be fun to watch Gus.” “But Brian,” Lindsey added, “If you come over, please leave your imitation of Chester at home.”

 

“Jeez,” Brian opined, “Pittsburghers have no taste at all. And little Justin here had his heart set on watching something called Queer as Folk at 10:00.” “Oh Brian,” Lindsey laughed , “Haven’t you ever seen it? You should see what crappy plots they give the lesbians. The main guys are really good looking though. A lot of our older straight female friends are crazy about them.” Justin had been listening in on the conversation. “Let’s go over, Brian. Watching Gus will be fun, and Wizard of Oz is a really great movie, like Yellow Submarine.” “You just don’t want me to see those hot guys on Queer as Folk,” Brian accused Justin, who responded, “I’m sure I’m just as cute as they are, and I’m real.” “That’s Pinocchio, Justin,” Brian explained, “Not Wizard of Oz.” So they decided to go to Mel and Lindsey’s to watch Gus watch Wizard of Oz.

 

While they were getting ready to go, Justin went skipping around the loft singing “We’re off to see the Wizard” with at least some of the notes on pitch. Brian, with mock exasperation, placed an easy kick on Justin’s backside. Brian remembered all the terrible things that Justin had lived through and he marveled at how brave and tough Justin had been in coping with all of them. He liked his Sunshine brave and tough but he loved the silly Justin too. Brian was pleased that Justin finally felt safe, secure and happy enough in the life they shared to let himself indulge as he was doing now. He knew that he had played a huge part in this change in Justin’s outlook as well as in the development of Justin’s extraordinary talent. That made Brian feel good about himself.

 

So Brian Kinney felt good about himself as he smiled at Justin cavorting around the loft. It was the first time in his own life that he could remember feeling good about himself. That was what Justin had done for Brian. Brian knew he loved that crazy kid. He knew it was this silly Justin that kept him young even at 31 – young, but, of course, never silly himself.

 

“We’ll probably spend more time watching you watch Wizard of Oz than we will Gus,” Brian said, trying to sound cranky, “And if we’re lucky you’ll end up back in Kansas.” “Not unless you’re in Kansas too,” Justin sang back in response, to no apparent melody. Brian knew why he loved that crazy kid. Brian did not need any gifts at all from the Wizard of Oz. He had everything he wanted.


	7. Chapter 7 - Discussions

Brian and Justin were putting away their food purchases after just getting back to the loft from a shopping trip to ShopnSave, Foodland, and Giant Eagle. Brian would have preferred just one stop shopping but Justin always went with his sale circulars and newspaper coupons, looking for bargains. “You know,” Brian stated, “I have a pretty good income and you have a nice amount coming in from Rage, so don’t you think we could save some time by going to just one store instead of three?” “No,” Justin answered, “I’m the one who does whatever cooking gets done around here and I know what I want to have to cook with.”

 

“Anyhow,” Justin went on, “If we hadn’t gone to Giant Eagle, you wouldn’t have been able to ogle that stock boy who was putting out the apples.” “What stock boy?” Brian asked. “Don’t ask, you know very well what stock boy, the little twink that didn’t look a day older than sixteen, with the red sweater and the tight dark blue jeans who was looking back at you,” came Justin’s retort.

 

“I can see that you didn’t notice him at all,” Brian snickered. “It’s just my artist’s eye,” Justin defended himself, “We’re trained to notice detail.” “OK, tell me what the check-out girl was wearing?” Brian challenged. “She was a young girl in a red uniform as I recall,” Justin didn’t recall. Brian laughed, “She was one of my high school classmate’s mother. How come your ‘artist’s eye’ didn’t notice that?”

 

“We were at three stores. I must have got the check-out people mixed up,” Justin defended himself. “See what I mean,” Brian crowed, “One store should have been enough.”

 

“Don’t change the subject,” Justin persisted, “Don’t you think you’re too old to be looking at teenagers?” “Yeah,” Brian replied, “I did get mixed up with a teenager once and I couldn’t get rid of him. I’ll never do that again. I promise I’ll never look at a teen-ager again,” Brian responded. Justin pushed his body up against Brian’s. “You don’t need to go overboard,” he told him, “One teenager at a time though seems about right.” “Well, I’ll have to admit,” Brian responded, “One teenager might just be enough.” He put his arms around Justin and pulled him closer. “Enough of this silliness,” Justin declared reluctantly, “You know I’ve got things to do.” “Then I better leave you to your work,” Brian said, and started putting on his jacket. “Where ya going?” Justin asked. “I don’t think we bought enough apples. I’m going back to get some more,” Brian answered. “Like hell you are,” Justin responded.

 

The work that Justin had to do was in the kitchen. There were going to be guests at dinner that night in the loft; Melanie and Lindsey, Ted, and Emmett had been invited to sample Justin’s culinary skill, which even Brian would admit, was good and getting better. Mike and Ben had also been invited but they had to be out of town. Having guests to dinner was a domesticity Brian wasn’t used to, but he was rather looking forward to it and he was so proud of Justin for being able to carry it off. He was experiencing a whole new life because of that kid, he was thinking, the normal life he had always made fun of. It wasn’t as bad as he thought it would be. In fact, it wasn’t bad at all. Actually he liked it. He did not miss his old life. He didn’t even think of it. What he had now was so much better than that, so much better than he deserved. He looked out to the kitchen area and watched the cause of this new-found happiness moving about with apparent efficiency.

 

“Anything I can do to help, Sunshine?” He called out. “You are already doing it,” came Justin’s reply, “Staying out of my way.” “Will it be all right if I get in your way later?” Brian retorted. “I think I’ll die if you don’t,” Justin replied with a smile.” “Me, too.” Brian thought.

 

And the dinner went perfectly. Everybody liked everything and Justin’s first solo apple pie got very good grades. Justin assigned all the credit to Vic, who had given him his secret recipe. “Brian thought we didn’t have enough apples,” Justin taunted, “But he is not a very experienced cook.”

 

“My God, Brian,” Melanie remarked, “You’d be crazy not to tie this guy up for life. You two ought to get married.” Justin’s face turned a bit red and he replied, “Brian doesn’t believe in gay marriage. He says it’s not legal and if people are really committed to each other, they don’t need any ceremony to prove it. And he’s right, of course. Not that we don’t think your wedding was a great idea.”

 

Emmett barged into the conversation promising to do all the arrangements for any nuptial plans Brian and Justin might ever have, and Brian stated that his kind offer would be enough to scuttle any such plans even if there were not a lot of other reasons. Ted allowed that he would consider getting married someday and Brian pointed out that it was an unlikely prospect. “Gay marriages aren’t legal and neither are marriages for one person. You’d have to find somebody to marry you, wouldn’t you? What are the chances of that?” he teased. “Better than the chances of you settling down with one person and leading a normal life,” Ted replied in jest, but actually, it made Brian think. Ted was sometimes right.

 

“Well, Melanie and I are glad we did it. We had a commitment for a long time, and everybody knew it, but somehow the wedding added something to that,” Lindsey said. “And such a lovely wedding it was,” Emmett remembered. Then he turned to Brian and said, ”If you weren’t allergic to weddings, if you had been there, you wouldn’t say nasty things about my arrangements. You know, Justin caught the bouquet.” It was a night for friends to talk and the subject changed. They talked of many things and laughed a lot.

 

When the guests left about 10:00, Justin ran to Brian and jumped into his arms. “We did it,” he cried, “We can entertain with the best of them.” Brian kissed him and pointed out, “You can entertain and I can sit and watch you do it, if that’s what you mean.” “Oh no, Brian,” Justin exclaimed, “I did the cooking but you were the host. You made the evening a success. I knew you could do it.” “I didn’t,” Brian mused, “But the longer you’re around, the more things I learn I can do. I don’t think I could do them though if you weren’t around.” “You’ve no hope of that,” Justin replied, “No hope at all.”

 

Later on, when all the party remnants were cleaned up and the other anticipated activities were concluded, the two if them lay cuddled together, each of them thinking about the really good time they had experienced earlier in the evening. “Are you happy, Justin?” Brian asked. “Are you crazy?” Justin answered, “I have everything I have ever wanted and even some things I didn’t know enough to want. I love you, Brian, and you love me. What else is there?” “Is it going to last forever, this happiness? You must know I feel it too,” Brian wondered. “It is as far as I’m concerned. I could never love anybody like I love you,” Justin assured him, “ For me, it’s for always, and even if you change your mind, there could never be anybody else for me.”

 

“I don’t know how to love anybody else but you,” Brian answered, “I never have, you know.” “But now that you know how, maybe it could happen,” Justin explained. “I don’t think so,” Brian said, holding Justin so tight that it might have hurt if it were anybody else but Brian. “What brought all this on, Brian?” Justin asked. “All that talk about marriage tonight, I guess. It made me think,” was Brian’s response. “Brian, half the breeder marriages these days end in divorce, so it’s hard to believe that a wedding ceremony could make any difference to us. If you’re not comfortable with gay marriage, forget about it. I’m not asking for that. If you don’t want it, I don’t want it either. I want you to love me forever, and I hope you do. That’s all I want. I want you to be happy and if you are, I’ll be happy too. Now go to sleep,” Justin told him. “Well, it’s something to think about, isn’t it?” Brian said, “And you did mention it at Lindsey’s wedding, didn’t you? I thought that’s what you wanted.” “That’s when I was young and foolish,” Justin stated, but Brian could feel that Justin’s heart was beating a lot faster than usual, and that his breathing was getting more agitated than usual. He didn’t know that Justin was getting light headed and he couldn’t read his thoughts. So he didn’t really know that Justin was thinking: “And I’m still young and foolish, and I’m crazy in love.” It was another of those happiest nights of his life.


	8. Chapter 8 - Mature Adults

After the big issue, which required the use of the loft to produce, Michael and Justin had returned to the back room of the comic book store for their work on Rage. Justin no longer helped with the selling in the store but Mike was able to hire help easily enough. The big triple issue had been an outstanding success, increased the circulation by 50%, and introduced the comic book to a wider audience. Justin and Mikey had been thrilled at its success. They had been working on the next issue but their attention had been re-focused on the big one. The publisher’s representative had just been in to see them and had inadvertently leaked to them the fact that the idea for the multiple-issue had originated with a guy named Brian Kinney, who was doing some gratis publicity for them.

 

“I’m in love with a rat,” Justin opined, “He pretended he was put out by the whole thing and all the while it was his idea.” “Well,” Mikey offered skeptically, “I don’t think you ought to break up with him over that.” “Not a chance,” Justin replied, “But I can’t let him get away with it either or he’ll be doing all kinds of nice things for me without letting me know. We’re mature adults, Mikey, and we had a right to know.” “But if they’re good things?” Mike wondered. “You’re missing the point entirely, Mikey,” Justin explained, “He’s denying me the chance to thank him, and thanking him for things is the high point of my life. Like I said, we’re not children and that’s how he’s treating us. I feel like putting chewing gum in his shoe.”

 

“I don’t think so,” Mikey warned, ”That might not get you the results you want. By the way, isn’t there anything you have done for Brian that you haven’t told him about?” “What do you mean?” Justin asked. “I know about Kip Thomas,” Mikey admitted. “How could you?” Justin asked in a concerned voice, “Please tell me Brian doesn’t know.” “I sure didn’t tell him,” Mikey reassured him,” You certainly weren’t hurting him. I was afraid it would spook him and screw things up for you. All of us were worried about Brian with the sex and the drugs and the boozing. We were really thinking he would kill himself accidentally or maybe even on purpose, and there wasn’t anything any of us could do. We didn’t think you had much chance but we were afraid you might be his last chance to pull himself together. And somehow you did it. But you and Kip were not the only people in the alley that night. At that time though, not many people knew you were mixed up with Brian so I don’t think he knows. It might be a good thing for you to tell him though. It ought to be OK. He might get a little sore but you’ve pretty well got him now. Maybe Brian would want to thank you. You really saved him there just like he saved you on prom night.”

 

“It’s more likely he’d want to kill me for what I did for him. We weren’t really together then so it’s not really the same thing as this,” Justin said, “Let me decide if and when to tell him that.” “It’s your call, Boy Wonder; You make it,” Mike told him. “Thanks, Mike,” Justin said, “But I’ve still got to call him on this. We’re mature adults and we should have been told.” “OK,” Mikey said, “But when he comes in here later with those moony eyes looking at you, I don’t think you’re going to want to call him on anything.” “We’ll just see about that,” Justin insisted. So they went on working on the next issue of Rage with an occasional grumble from Justin about being a “mature adult” with a “right to know.”

 

Brian and Ben were scheduled to pick them up later in the afternoon and they were going to eat together at Woody’s. The four of them were a very compatible group and they didn’t get together as much as any of them would have wished, so when they did, it was an occasion. Mikey hoped there would be no friction between Brian and Justin to mar the evening’s gathering. He knew though that while Justin was pretty good at handling Brian, that Brian was also pretty good at handling Justin. He smiled as he considered the change Justin had worked in Brian though. The kid had literally saved Brian’s life, and made him a happy man. Mike was really happy for them both, and glad to have them in his life.

 

Mike needn’t have worried about what he was worried about. At the appointed time, Ben and Brian arrived together. Brian walked over to Mikey and embraced him in greeting: then he turned his moony eyes at Justin. Justin ran over and jumped up into Brian’s arms, which was a favorite trick of his. He kissed Brian and then announced, “I’m mad at you.” Ben laughed. He didn’t know Justin all that well, especially in relation to Brian, and he said to Brian, “I’d hate to see what he does when he’s not mad at you.” “I’m not going to tell you why,” Justin went on with a big smile on his face.

 

“Well, I am,” Mike announced, “We know that you thought up the idea of the big issue of Rage, and we think you should have told us instead of acting like a martyr.” “Yeah,” Justin echoed the sentiment, “We’re mature adults…”

 

“Would it be all right, Mr. Mature Adult, if I put you down and let you stand on you own two feet? You’re a lot for an old guy to hold,” Brian asked. “Don’t try playing for sympathy either,” Justin accused Brian. “Yeah, we’re mad,” Mikey put in his bit, sensing that there was something absurd about the whole situation. “Well, I’m not going to defend myself for taking the idea directly to the publishers so that you two wouldn’t foul it up for me,” Brian said, “And my dear little Justin, here, and I admit he’s the love of my life, he manufactures arguments so that we can make up and he manufactures things that I do for him so that he can thank me. He has no gripe. He got to thank me for using the loft, instead of thanking me for the idea, so he wasn’t deprived of thanking me at all.”

 

Justin was muttering, “I knew he knew about the making up but I didn’t know he knew about the thanks.” But Brian went on. Looking at Michael, Brian continued: “And you have no gripe with me either. Talk to Ben. He knew all about it too. When I got the idea, I had Ben check it out with some of the Carnegie-Mellon students. They liked the idea so it went to the publishers.” “Tattle-Tale,” Ben said.

 

“You knew,” Mikey said to Ben, and then he asked Justin, “Can I borrow that pack of chewing gum?” If this situation were in an opera, a great quartet could have been written with all four of them singing out their opinions. Different words and different melodies. They all ended up laughing. It was very like a comic opera.

 

And it was a great opening for a great evening. Ted and Emmett happened to be at Woody’s and they joined the foursome for dinner. Ted and Emmett were sympathetic with both the deceivers and the deceived, wisely taking no sides. Everybody had a good time. Ted had some trouble relating the Brian Kinney in the booth with him now with the Brian Kinney he had known so well for almost seven years, but he liked what he saw.

 

On the way home, Mike asked Ben, “Why didn’t you tell me about Brian and the big issue?” “It was his idea and that’s the way he wanted it done. It’s all Brian’s fault that you had this great big success and increased your income a tidy sum. He should have known better,” Ben answered. “Oh, forget it” Mike responded. “It’s hard for a mature adult to talk to you sometimes.” “How would you know?” Ben laughed.

 

Heading in the other direction, Justin was saying to Brian, “I’ve decided to forgive you for not telling me.” “Thanks,” Brian responded. “Is that all the thanks I get?” Justin questioned. “Yep,” Brian said. “Brian,” Justin went on. “Yeah,” Brian answered. “If I did something for you and didn’t tell you, would you be mad at me?” Justin asked. “Probably not, but it would depend on what it was that you did, I guess. I wouldn’t like it if you put yourself in danger or something like that,” Brian replied, “Why do you ask?” “No reason,” Justin said. “Brian,” Justin continued. “Yeah,” Brian replied. “I’ve decided that I do want to argue about you not telling me.” Justin changed his mind. “If that’s what you want, Sunshine, that’s what I want too.” Brian replied.

 

“Then can we make up later?” Justin wanted to know. “What else would two mature adults do?” Brian asked.


	9. Chapter 9 - Always Together

Justin left Brian reluctantly but here he was on the way to Daphne’s. He had seen her only a few short times since he was back with Brian and as much as he loved Daff and enjoyed her company, he considered every hour spent elsewhere a waste of time if it could be spent with Brian. But Brian himself had shooed him out so he accepted Daphne’s call to come over. “Aren’t 21 hours of togetherness enough for today?” Brian had asked, “How many hours a day do you think we need to be together?” Justin had answered, “24 aren’t enough. Let’s try 25 or 26 tomorrow.” Maybe Brian agreed with Justin but he shooed him out anyway. After all, he had instigated Daphne’s call in the first place. He might regret the separation this minute but he wanted Justin to have a life separate from him. Justin was only nineteen years old and needed a separate life. Brian didn’t think that was so important for a 31-year-old but he wanted Justin to have the best of everything. He looked at the clock and was surprised that Justin had only been gone ten minutes.

 

It had been another Saturday afternoon several weeks back, and under vastly different circumstances, when Justin had last visited at Daphne’s. She was alone again. Her roommates apparently liked to study on the weekends. “Well, stranger,” she greeted him on his arrival, “I told you I’d call you if you didn’t call me, didn’t I?” “A lot of things have happened since then,” Justin smiled, “A lot of really great things, and maybe that all started out right here.” “Maybe a lot more nice things will start today then,” Daphne suggested. “I don’t need any more nice things, Daff,” Justin answered, “I’ve got everything I want.” “Brian,” Daphne surmised. “Brian,” Justin confirmed.

 

Justin recounted all the details of the events following his last visit. Daphne listened in rapt interest. “Gosh,” she said to him, ”You are one tough guy. Sometimes you show it and sometimes you don’t, but you always seem to get what you want.”

 

“Well, I was pretty scared for a while this time, but if something is worth wanting, it’s worth fighting for,” Justin told her, “Brian is worth it. I told you right after I met him that we would be together someday. I loved him the first time I saw him.” “Don’t I know it?” Daphne admitted, “Remember you dragged me down to Liberty Avenue with you. Remember that first crazy night at Babylon, when you stole those two hunks from Brian, and then he stole you from them. You got just what you wanted then, like you always do. You’re tough, Justin Taylor. I knew it that night and I’ve seen it since. Does Brian know how tough you are?” Justin smiled, but he didn’t answer the question. He did say, “I think early on I was ready to give up on Brian and you kept me going. I dragged you down to Liberty Avenue only after you insisted I go back down there. It looked like there was no hope but you kept pushing me, and now he loves me and we’re together all the time.”

 

Daphne wondered about that. ”So when did he fall for you?” Daphne asked. “I’m not sure. Someday I’m going to ask him,” Justin replied. “Why don’t you ask him now?” Daff continued her interrogation. “I’ll know when to ask him, Daff,” he answered, “I don’t think he even knows himself. I think he was in love with me a good while before he knew it. He’s made a big change in his life for me. He’s adjusting to a lot of new things now; he needs help and I need to help him; so I’ll hold off on the questions. I really love him, Daff, and I want him to be happy, even more than I want to be happy myself, and I intend to see that he is. Believe me, I’ll know when to ask.” “Well for all your sweetness, I wouldn’t want to be between you and the watermelon if you wanted the watermelon,” Daphne declared. “You’d be safe, Daff,” Justin laughed, “But you’re one of the few.” “How do you get away with it?” Daphne wanted to know. “I’m cute,” Justin bragged.

 

“I might be crazy but can I offer an opinion which might look like advice?” Daphne asked. “You, Brian, and Debby have given me good advice when I needed it before, so go ahead. I’m listening,” he replied. “Don’t over manage your life with Brian. Let him be Brian. You’re sure he loves you. Let him be himself. He has to have a life of his own before he can really have a life with you,” she told him, “You both need time apart. I can see how antsy you are to get back to him right now. I don’t think that’s all that good. I think if you enjoy your time away from Brian, you will enjoy your time with him all the more. You’re not going to lose him because you’re not with him 24/7.” “But I was so miserable when I didn’t have him,” Justin remembered, “I don’t know if I could stand being away from him.” “Well, think about it. You’re tough, Justin,” she reminded him, “and cute.”

 

Meanwhile, back at the loft, Brian waited about an hour and looked at the clock again. Justin had been gone 25 minutes. Brian decided that watching the clock was not productive and headed out for the comic book store to visit with Mikey.

 

When Brian entered the store, Michael looked up. He was surprised to see Brian alone. “When was the amputation?” he said with a smile. “No amputation, wise guy, “ Brian responded, “My much better half and I do have separate lives. He’s over at Daphne’s.” “Well you could have fooled me,” Mikey answered, “You could have fooled everybody.” “He wants to be with me all the time, and I want to be with him, but that’s not good for him,” Brian responded, “Justin is still a kid. This 24-hour monogamy might be OK for us older guys but he’s nineteen. He doesn’t know what the world’s all about yet. We probably shouldn’t even be together at all but he seems to want it and I sure want it so we have to give it a try. I think it will work. This is a big adjustment for him and I have to help him, but I want him to be happy, and he has got to have other friends beside us old guys. I’m going to see that he’s happy whether he likes it or not. I do miss him when he’s gone though.”

 

Michael smiled. Brian had never talked to him like this before. He had never talked about his feelings He had always acted like he didn’t have feelings. Michael didn’t think he was as smart as either Brian or Justin, but he wondered if he didn’t see their relationship more clearly than they did. “You’re not afraid of losing him, are you? You couldn’t even push him away when you tried. Let him go a bit. Let him know that when he’s done doing what he’s doing away from you, you will be waiting for him, and he’ll be waiting for you when you’re out somewhere too. If you want him to be happy, be yourself and let him be himself. You don’t want to smother him and you’ll eventually resent it if you let him smother you. If you’re happy, he’s going to be happy too, and vice versa. You will both always have someone to come home to. I think you guys are hitched for life.” There was still a bit of the old Brian in the new Brian, so he replied, “Shit, Mikey, living with a professor has made you very wise.” Mikey saw the humor in Brian’s response, and told him, “No, I got that wisdom from my mother.” “Oy Vay,” Brian replied, but he was thinking about the advice. “Hitched for life,” he thought. That didn’t sound so bad to him.

 

Brian got back to the loft a scant five minutes before Justin. “I hate being away from you,” Justin said. “And I hate being away from you,” Brian agreed. They had planned to stay in that night and just be together with no specific agenda. Brian made sandwiches and Justin heated up some soup they had bought that morning at the deli. They were quieter than usual. They were both thinking and pretty much about the same thing since their afternoon conversations had ended on similar notes – though they didn’t know that. Each of them had reluctantly concluded that the advice they had received was good advice.

 

After they ate, they sat down on the floor next to each other in front of the couch, and Brian started the conversation, “While you were out, I spent a couple of hours with Michael this afternoon. It was the first time we had a chance to just hang out for a long time.” “What did Mikey have to say?” Justin wondered. “He talked about us. He likes us being together. He thinks we’re ‘cute,’ but he told me he thought I was holding you too close to me – that you needed more time to yourself and to spend with other people. He told me what I already knew – that you have to have a separate life as well as our life together.”

 

“That’s funny,” Justin said, “That’s pretty much what Daff told me – that I had to let you live your own life too. I know she’s right but, Brian, I spent four months away from you and I’m afraid.” “Sunshine, if you’re not with me, don’t you know that whatever I’m doing or wherever I am, I am always going to come home to you?” Justin had heard that before so he smiled at Brian and asked, “By three?” A little of the tension had disappeared with that exchange of banter. “Oh no, no more ‘Rules,’ but I’ll want to get back to you as soon as I can,” Brian assured him laughingly. Justin replied, “Well, if I’m not here when you get home, don’t wait up for me.” They laughed. Then Justin said, “Brian, I’m still scared.”

 

During the discussion, they had moved around and now they were kind of kneeling on the floor facing each other. “Don’t be afraid of anything, Justin, I love you and I promise I’ll want to be with you forever no matter what happens good or bad, better or worse, ” Brian said. He took both of Justin’s hands into his, and went on, “For richer, for poorer.” “For richer, for poorer,” Justin echoed, “In sickness and in health.” Brian was smiling now and Justin was crying. Brian continued, “In sickness and in health till death us do part.” “Till death us do part,” Justin repeated, “Oh Brian, I’ll love you forever too.” They fell into each other’s arms and stayed that way for a long time. Finally, Brian broke the silence. “Wanna go out and celebrate?” he asked. “Let’s go to Woody’s and to Babylon, find the gang, and see how many heart attacks we can cause,” Justin responded.

 

And that’s what they did.


End file.
